Taking the Low Road

I came upon a video of a great HR professional I follow on social media talking about the dynamic of employee vs. employer 'racing to the bottom' (aka "taking the low road") when workplace situations go awry between employees and their leadership. Her example was around when employees give notice and how employers and employees try and outdo one another and damage the relationship even more as they transition out of an organization. Leadership does this by telling a person who gives proper notice to just 'leave right now' instead of letting them finish out their proper notice. Employee's themselves do this when they give no notice or don't finish out their notice period and just walk out with the false sense that their 'snit quit' will prove some point they are trying to make. The ripple effect to these actions are endless and I am here to tell you, it is never a pretty look for anyone.

Taking the low road simply translates into seeking some sort of revenge against the employee or the leadership/company whenever there is a change in the employer-employee relationship. I am urging everyone to think about their thoughts and actions when they sense their emotions coming to the surface during these times.

Let's start with this:

Low road thinking looks like this:

• What's in it for me?

• What's in it for them?

• What do I want, and what do they want?

High road thinking looks like this:

• What am I thinking?

• What will I do next?

• Why is this happening from a business standpoint? (not a personal one)

• What are my medium and long term goals?

I have far too many examples over my career of watching both employees and employers take the low road of how they try and out-do the other when the working relationship shifts from what was once a perfectly fine relationship into one where the employee has a horrible taste in their mouth and the leadership forever remembers a once perfectly fine performer as the one that left a lot of damage in their wake due to their pettiness. Conversely, I see employers shift their perspective on a once fine relationship into suddenly describing a good employee as a 'problem child' or a 'pain' if the employee speaks up for whatever reason.

My hope is always everyone can take the high road when it comes to their work experience, but I also know when the parties are the ones navigating the situation in the moment that clarity is often lacking heavily on both sides.

Here are my thoughts on how to help both individual employees and leadership stay off the low road when they are in the middle of a contentious work situation:

1. Remind yourself that the situation is NOT about you! -We tend to personalize everything, especially at work, when in fact, it rarely decisions have anything to do with us as individuals. Ask yourself if it's possible this situation has nothing to do with you and don't assume their behavior is a personal attack.

2. Put yourself in the other persons shoes - A person on the ground floor and a person on the roof will never have the same vision of the street. Read that again.

   Acknowledging their shoes is very hard to do, it is important to think about where the other person is coming from in an effort to balance out your one-sided reaction to the situation. HR typically plays a key role in helping people do this in a workplace, so if you do not have trained professionals to help you with this reach out so we can help you.

3. Do not get caught up in the drama - The person who is stronger emotionally and does not react is the one who controls the frame of what is happening. These people are perceived as grounded and is usually able to see things very objectively at all times. We tend to seek these people out ultimately for guidance and understanding and lean into those who are more calm and collected.

4. Do the right thing - I feel like deep down everyone knows cognitively what the right thing is to do in most workplace situations - the issue is our emotions get the best of us because, well, we are humans in the workplace. The right thing isn't always the easy thing, but most times each side knows what is truly the right thing to do and deep down knows the right way to act in tension-filled situations.

5. Pause (aka bite your tongue!) - Give yourself time to respond or cool down before reacting or responding.

6. Reframe - Focus on the facts and outcomes, not emotions.

7. Take the high road - Being graceful, professional, and classy at work will never be wrong. The right road is the right road in most all workplace situations. The final step is to tell yourself that knowing the circumstances of the workplace situation will not change no matter how you react, so the best thing for yourself overall is to simply not think the lowest and worst thoughts.

Not taking the low road means choosing a morally or ethically right course of action in a difficult situation, especially when provoked by the other party.

It takes dignity and tons of restraint over immediate retaliation or pettiness towards the person or entity you are involved with when tense situations occur at work. Responding and acting calmly and professionally instead of reacting emotionally or dropping to the other person's level is key in learning that the low road will not get you where you think it's going.